Tonight was the evening of many cravings and while I didn’t eat at my top form for health, I did learn a lot. It all started because I ended up working late and just outside our offices I knew there was a little street market going on and I knew someone would be selling BBQ. I was really in the mood for a BBQ pork sandwich and I actually had the cash to buy it. I had money in my desk still, left over from my vending machine days, so after debating for awhile I decided to just do it and get my sandwich fix. I was within my calorie goal for the day so that was fine. I really should have just bought the sandwich and not the cornbread muffin though but I was like a kid with a little spending money and couldn’t stop myself.

It made a great dinner and I’m glad I did it because I wanted to work a little later and it helped fill one of my cravings that I’d been having for a couple weeks. I’ve learned that sometimes when I true craving hits, it’s better to just fill that and make the calories work out rather than deny it. Denial just sends me into an eating frenzy anyway because my brain gets mad, throws a fit like a toddler, and I’m eating peanut butter by the spoonful.

The real lessons from tonight came later though, as I drove home from work. I got a really really strong craving for ice cream, which I’ve noticed has been happening a lot lately. I find this odd because normally ice cream isn’t high on my favorite treat list, but this was undeniable and once again I gave in – fearing the aforementioned peanut butter problem. I drove to DQ, just as a storm was hitting, and ordered a small cookie dough blizzard. This isn’t even what I really wanted but I was in the drive-thru and hadn’t been to DQ in so long that I panicked and just ordered the first thing I saw that sounded close to what I wanted. So I drove home in the rain and thought about how nice it was going to be to have some ice cream with full plans to hit the exercise bike after I ate it.

I brought my treasure inside and started eating and something very odd happened. It was awful. One of the worst things I’ve eaten in awhile. It was super sweet, the ice cream had an odd consistency and I just hated it. So, unlike old me, I threw it away. Old me would have eaten it any way. Old me would have eaten it and offended by it’s lack of quality, would have eaten the peanut butter too – for good measure. But the new me, nope, the new me got mad at DQ and tossed it. The new me is now put off DQ and really has no desire to darken their doorstep again.

Then I marched myself downstairs, despite the awesome storm outside (or maybe because of it) and went my longest time ever on the exercise bike. 30 minutes and 9.3 miles. It was great – I listened to music and I burned off some of the sandwich as well as the horrible ice cream that I did eat.

Stupid ice cream.

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