I’ve been trying really hard to keep my own spirits up – I know it’s important to stay positive and that in the long run, large scale of things, it’s not so bad. That aside, I’m getting frustrated and worried. The healing as pretty much slowed to the point that I’m not seeing daily progress like I’d hoped for. My biggest fear is that the surgery won’t have fixed the problem, or made things worse. The pain is still there and now I don’t have strength enough to walk even with the walking boot. I’m still very dependent on the crutches and I had expected to be further now.

I’m going to try and get back to my normal life – back to work, etc, but I still worry that I’m going to overdue things and it won’t ever heal correctly. I’m feeling pretty direction less with my recovery plan and that further frustrates me. All I’ve been really told is to just play it by ear, do things “as tolerated” and use the crutches as long as I need them. I thought I was going to get off the pain medication today but by the end of today I was back on them. The pain really is bad and it’s partly my fault for going to Target – I guess.

I’m using the blog right now to vent so take that as it is. I know that I need to “hang in there” and “not get discouraged” and “things will happen with time” and etc. But right now – I’m feeling down and I’m going to own up to that emotion. It’s not the end of the world.