I am still alive, which is good, but I haven’t been feeling much up to writing in the blog. There’s something about recovery that I didn’t expect and that was set backs. When I had my knee surgery everything recovered quickly and I don’t remember having major setbacks. With this foot and ankle surgery I haven’t been having as great a time. I get filled with doubts as to whether I should have even done the surgery. The foot still hurts and I still don’t have the muscle strength back like I’d like.

Last week I was actually back in two shoes and walking around, with crutches mostly, but still it felt like progress. We were doing a lot more at PT and I could actually get back into some amount of an exercise routine. Then it all fell apart last Friday when my foot decided it couldn’t handle it any more. The pain was high and it became clear that I was going to need to wear the boot again for awhile. I made that decision with some advice from PT and now we are “re-grouping” and going to start again.

To add to the fun my calf muscles, which have a history of problems, decided it was time to act up again. So part of my time spent at PT was getting the muscles massaged out and that has helped. Now I have to focus on keeping them stretched and started using my heating pad at night to keep the muscle warm.

With all this my mood has defiantly been down and I haven’t been able to sleep very well. I wake up about every hour and I’m guessing I’m also batting either a virus or allergies. I haven’t worked much this week because I just don’t have the energy and I’m having issues keeping up with pain management. I know I need to pull myself out of the funk but it’s really hard to keep doing it because each time it’s a bit harder than the last.

I’m going back to PT on Friday afternoon and hope we will have a new plan in place. While I know the doctor said this could drag out to 6 months I just couldn’t understand how that would be possible. It’s been 9 weeks since my surgery and I really thought I’d be much further along. I guess there’s nothing I can do but keep up with my rehab and do things to improve my mood.